America's anti-sweetheart made quite the splash this week, and if you didn't keep abreast of every poor life decision, bench warrant, flimsy excuse or court order that followed her over the last seven days, then congratulations, you have a life and well-placed priorities.
Which puts you one up on us and Lindsay Lohan, respectively.
That's right, Hurricane Lindsay blew through both Los Angeles and Cannes this week, and left pretty much everything she touched worse for wear. Let's sift through the wreckage together, shall we?
She started off the week strong, or at least strong-armed, hurling drinks at exes and then flying over to the Cannes Film Festival on an ultimately ill-advised trip to get photographed with what appeared to be cocaine tour luxury yachts promote her forthcoming porn star flick. Unfortunately, she also lost her passport, missed a court hearing, offered up one of the flimsiest excuses on record, had a bench warrant issued for her arrest, ponied up enough of her $100,000 bail to avoid arrest and got her court date rescheduled for Monday morning, for which her presence will most definitely be required. And she still managed to find time to hate on her dad! And party! That Lindsay. She always was a multitasker.
Up to speed? Good. Let's move on…
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