Lindsay wants to die young

Lindsay Lohan has a thing for Marilyn Monroe, including for the way she died. Apparently Lindsay wouldn’t mind dying the same way. Um, cry for help? Here is more from Betty Confidential.
“If you saw my house … I have a lot of Marilyn stuff,” she told New York magazine when she did the Bert Stern shoot. Lindsay even purchased an apartment where Marilyn once lived and owns a huge painting of the actress, who is pictured with a bottle of spilled pills next to her. (Lindsay has been to rehab three times – is her life imitating her artwork?)
Friends say the 23-year-old has a dangerous preoccupation with Marilyn’s life – and death. “Lindsay is obsessed,” says a pal. “She loves Marilyn’s short life and looks at all of it as glamorous, even her death. Lindsay wants to be just like Marilyn and she doesn’t fear dying young. She sees beauty in the tragedy of Marilyn’s life.”

Lindsay had Nippotitis

Well this is how I like to see my little Lindsay Lohan; with her sweet nipples peaking out of her tank top. It’s perfect way to know what the temperature is outside and from what I can tell it’s cold and lovely out. Anyway, Lindsay needs to show her boobs off more often because they make you forget how skinny and unhealthy she really is.

Lindsay's new look for a Marilyn Monroe role

Lindsay Lohan would love to star as Marilyn Monroe in an upcoming remake of Some Like It Hot. We all saw this one coming. Lindsay has been posing in blonde wigs for over a year now, and we all know she has the vodka and pills bit down. Ah. No, we don’t mean that. That wasn’t nice. Anyway, according to sources there isn’t a script yet for this remake, but that hasn’t stopped LiLo from dreaming.




Lohan’s been reported to be desperate for money and here she is with some new look, with new blonde hair and new lips that she claims is for a new part, which is technically the truth, but it’s not gonna be a movie for Disney, shit’s gonna be a porny movie, at least that’s what I assume because the porn companies are offering her huge money and everyone knows that girls who jack up their lips and bleach out their hair are into suck'n’ dick on camera, or stripping, or just attracting male attention cuz their dad’s were too busy spending late nights at the office…..

Either way, I’m excited for this move and I think it was a great decision on her part. The work is gonna be constant and well paying, the fans are gonna be excited to see her back on screen only doing what she does best and most importantly she’s really gonna love giving her redundant organ an opportunity to make up for lost time, you know, this whole lesbian phase left the her feelin’ left out.

Lindsay Turned Blonde overnight

Lindsay Lohan decided that she needed a change and dyed her hair blond. Now, I know that they say blonds have more fun, but I’m not sure how much fun you can have if you’re Lindsay? There’s no meat on her bones… I’d have to get creative I guess. Anyway, each and every time I see new pictures of Lindsay, her legs are skinnier and skinnier. So she better start eating because I don’t know how creative I could get with a corpse.

Lindsay doing a bad job of making Sam jealous

A extremely sloshed looking Lindsay Lohan stumbled her way into some random singer’s CD release party that was such an important big deal, that even after googling for 15 minutes we could barely find anything of note besides an ugly MySpace video and a crappy behind-the-scenes video. Our guess? Lindsay’s such a wrecked lady, no one’s inviting her any more to the real stuff, so she’s been forced to take matters into her own, incapable hands and bumble about to whatever she spots posted to telephone poles.

She even takes a moment to frighten a small child … “Mommy, why does the freckled face monster smell like Grandpa’s special Wake Up Juice?”

Lindsay thinks English people like her

Is a move to England in Lindsay Lohan's future? Sure . . . if she can collect enough cans to pay for airfare. She told People (UK):

"I am so in love with Sam but the truth is neither of us can ever stop arguing with one another. I wake up every morning and despite being more in love with Sam than I have been with anyone in the past, in all honesty I don’t know if we’ll still be together by the time we go to bed.

"We both love England and it would be good to get away from here. I feel trapped sometimes. British people tell me that they really like me so maybe I would do well working over there."

Lindsay shouldn't move to England -- they're far too puritan. She needs to move to a country where they're more tolerant of drug abuse, opinionated women, and homosexual relationships -- like Saudi Arabia. Of course there's really only one reason why a woman like Lindsay should move to a country like that: she'd have to cover up her face whenever she was out in public.